Are justifications heard? Are they respected? Are they accepted?
I don't know - I wish I knew the answer. Many times, I have found myself in situations where I justify, I defend - myself, my actions, my thinking behind a certain action. It is almost always an attempt to make others see my point, to give reasons behind how what was interpreted was not intended. Unfortunately, many times, my intentions behind an action and people's interpretations of those actions have been so disparate; the difference has been surprising, sometimes shocking and at times plain disturbing.
The more I experience this, the more I realize that justifications / explanations / discussions / defending take you nowhere. Because, as my questions in the beginning indicate - I am not sure any of these are looked at in the right manner. They are not taken as an attempt to put across the point, instead they are looked upon as acceptance of something done wrong... How many times have you said to yourself..."aah... see, she is coming up with all these explanations, because she accepts her mistake.."?
Whether I get the answer or not, I know, I will again find myself in situations where I do that, where I defend, where I try to explain to put across my point - and whenever I do it, I will always tell myself - I am doing this, because, I have the right to an opinion and thinking as an individual, because I was right in my own way. The day the other person also thinks that way - it will be ok, the day he / she does not - I would have just given another "justification" - useless, and valueless.
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3 comments:
Very true, this happens with most of us in day to day life. But what I feel is the justifications we give, even if they are not heard at that moment, do not waste/valueless. Some point of life either we are proved right or maybe otherwise. This is all part of game and this should not be stopped!
I think justifications are both heard and accepted. But that part is generally not conveyed. Reason - the prson you are giving your justification to might feel like he was on the wrong side. When to be honest, as long as there is a real justification out there, there is no wrong or right. It is plain simple miscommunication mostly!
And most of the times, justifications are not needed. Apologies too. Time and Actions take care of everything. And they generally do a better job than a justification does :)
Just wanted to say watch the movie "Twelve Angry men" if you have not so far. It might not be completely in-line with what you are writing here.
But somewhat related.
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