Some footprints on the sands of time...

Cooking experiments...

2012-01-30T13:36:00.000-08:00

Being on a paid vacation has its advantages and disadvantages.. Sheer boredom, and a feeling of being a total waste are the disadvantages (how sad that we need work and lots of it to feel validated and happy and appreciated! :(), but to counter these feelings, you try to come up with things that can keep you busy.. And that can be an advantage, if not directly to you, at least to your family :)

These days, with so little work (almost nil), I have taken to cooking. I actually just keep looking for recipes that I can try at home.. And out of that need of validation / appreciation / ways of killing time / whatever it is, I have ended up making quite a few recipes that I had never tried before, although they are pretty simple in reality..

Gulachi Poli - Maharashtrian recipe: Jaggery stuffed inside wheat chapati
Nachni che ladoo
Veg puffs (with spinach stuffing and potato stuffing) - yummy recipe for a quick breakfast or snack
Parle G biscuits Cake - I was absolutely bowled over by the simplicity of its ingredients
Missi puri
Tilgul ladoo
Udeed daliche vade
Shankarpale
Karanji
Chivda
Pakatle chirote
Modak
Methiche parathe
Carrot + Lauki parathe
Ghavachi kheer (made out of Wheat Daliya)
....

Best 10 mins. of the day!

2012-01-30T13:28:00.000-08:00

Don't get me wrong.. I absolutely adore my almost 2 year old son, and actually start missing him immediately after I have dropped him to his daycare. But still, the best 10 mins. of my day, these days, is that time - time spent in my son's daycare when dropping him off..

And why not? Cheerful, happy, smiling, excited, gorgeous faces! Happy just in the moment, no agenda, no reasons to be happy and to smile. Welcoming teachers, who seem to just love the job, seeing my son enter into the toddler room and look around for his favorite toys, his fish, give a warm hug to his teacher.. His fellow toddlers going "Raam, Raam, Raam", the minute they see my son.. Such a promising start of the day. It feels like there is absolutely nothing wrong with the world, and nothing can go wrong in the world..

I am truly blessed to have found a great daycare for my son, and it has made me wonder multiple times, what fun it would be to just be surrounded by kids this age all day long, I am almost tempted to give up my software desk job, and take the plunge into daycare / teaching business! Or at least I have wished multiple times what it would take for us adults to have that quality back again in our lives - to love whole-heartedly, to forget so quickly, and just be happy in the present!

Wouldn't have it any other way!

2010-08-18T13:13:00.000-07:00

How many times before having my son Raam have I wished that GOD gives me one chance to live some parts of my life all over again, so that I can do a few things differently? Oh - many many times, each time I faced some problem, which I was quick to relate to something I had done in the past.. I did have regrets about some decisions, wondered what it would have meant if I had taken a different route, done something different than what I ended up doing..

But now after having my son, I just can't get around to thinking that way.. Even if GOD gives me a chance to live all over again, I am sure I would do the exact same things.. because, you know what - Every mistake, Every fall, Every success, Every decision, Every route taken, Every defeat, Every win, Every setback, was bringing me closer to the day when I would hold my son in my arms... This is an amazing thought, and just makes all the wrongs so far suddenly seem right. It is just very liberating all of a sudden, so easy to accept life so far, imagine having no regrets..

Now I wonder, what about life from now on? Well - I have heard people say, it is always way easier the second time round :)

Computers and Babies

2010-05-21T13:40:00.000-07:00

Babies are like computers: A computer is never wrong, the bug is always in the code you write.. A baby does not cry for no reason, there is always something it is trying to tell you!

And sigh.. Babies are so not like computers: Babies are not machines, they have a mind of their own - which works from day 1, no matter what you feed in!

एक कविता

2009-05-03T12:02:00.001-07:00

आयुष्य म्हण्जे स्वप्ने अनेक
वेचित जाणे आठवण प्रत्येक

ही स्वप्ने न व्हावी डोइजडं,
अस्तित्वावर राहूदे भक्कम पकडं

म्हणतात प्रयत्ने वाळुचे कण रगडिता, तेल ही गळे
आणि आपल्या माणसांची साथ असता, भयं सारे पळे

गरूडा सारखी उंच घ्या भरारी,
मात्र विसरु नका ठेवले जे माघारी

पूढे पूढे चालत राहाणे, याच्यातच गंमतं,
शिषिर ऋतु पाठोपाठ, येतच असतो वसंतं

असंबंध, पराधीन, निराश कधी वाटते
सु़खं-दु:खाचे चक्र निरंतर चालुच राहते

एक साधलं की दुसरं लक्ष्य आव्ह्यान देतं
मग मन वेडं त्यामागे धावतच जातं

हो, ह्याच धावपळीचं नाव तर जीवन आहे,
सतत वाहत राहाणं, हाच पाण्याचा धर्म आहे!

-- आरती रहाळकर

Your present is decided by your future

2008-09-21T10:09:00.000-07:00

Sounds impossible? It did to me, when I first heard about it. I was at this "Team building" workshop at one of the Pune farms, more than "team building" it was more about the emotional quotient (EQ) I believe, about inter-personal relationships at work, how to identify a team member's positive points etc. etc.

One of the things our trainer said was "How you are in the present, or your state of mind is defined by your future"... I tried to argue with him about how the person you are in the present is a result of your past experiences, your experiences make you, and you are a product of the past therefore.. It took me a sort of a "role play" to really understand what he meant..
He told me - "Imagine yourself on a Monday morning at office, you see a huge backlog of e-mails in front of you that need to be acted upon, you see your calendar for the entire week filled up with meetings that you don't quite like to attend!.. How would you be feeling on that Monday morning".. Well - I guess, the expressions on my face gave way, and he laughed, said - "See, I know how you would be feeling.. How you feel on that Monday morning is not decided by the great weekend you have had, but by what you see yourself doing in the near future!".. He said, contrast this scenario with this one - "It is Thursday evening, the same office, same number of e-mails, but now you know that you are going off for a three-day break with your family to Singapore... How do you feel on that Thursday evening".... I don't think I need to tell you how I would feel in that situation...

What is different in the two cases - "Not the past, not the present - but the future".. And my state of mind, how I felt about my present was totally decided by what I saw myself doing in the future...

After hearing this - I was so sold out on this idea.. I had never thought about my present that way. I never thought my future will be affecting me in my day-to-day present, but now that I think about it - it so very much does.. If you still do not get it - think about that Friday evening when you return home with a song on your lips, think about the time when you are anticipating the salary at the end of the month with the bonus for the year, and then think about the Monday morning blues you get almost on every other Monday..

Well - now the point is, this is a different thought - but how does it really help? How you want this thought to help you, is really upto you. For me, in some sense, it was liberating - liberating to realize that my present is not bound by the shackles of my past, that what I am and what I want to be in my present is really decided by my future... And the best thing about future is that you don't really know much about it, and in one way or the other, future is in your hands.. Put two and two together, and it seems now that your Present is really in your hands.. You decide how you are and what you want to be on any given day.

The trainer said another thing that has remained in my head - You want the freedom to choose your life, use that freedom, take your own decisions, but remember that the freedom always comes with a responsibility. Be responsible for who you are and who you want to be, and be free to choose your own path!

A page in the Housewife's Diary

2008-08-20T14:22:00.001-07:00

Called up my parents in the morning
Made tea for the two of us - taking some tips from my husband on how to make tea!
Logged on to my laptop, with the intention of finishing off some work, and did everything but work... Well - that everything was as follows:
- Checked out the recipe of Sevai Kheer - and made Sevai Kheer (it is in the refrigerator right now, and well it has turned out quite well I think - awaiting verdict from my husband of course)
- Logged onto orkut and did the most important task of scrapping and responding to people's messages (Well you see - keeping in touch with the new and old relatives is an important activity)
- Browsed through our wedding photos for the 100th time in the last 1 month, and uploaded them on picasa
- The singing bug bit me again, only resulting in a few songs getting recorded in my voice!
- Tried to get back to work, but hey - I had to put these events down in my blog, so here I am.

Now I am waiting for my dear husband to come back, but you see, the typical housewife that I am not, I am going to seriously work for the next half an hour after finishing up with this blog! :)

Cheers to married life, and ain't I loving it? :)

How?

2008-05-25T11:18:00.001-07:00

One thought that came to my mind today while I was in the car, on the way to a function I was supposed to attend... Btw, long car drives do that to me - give me a chance to have these random thoughts.. Anyway, the thought was - "Let me not ask the typical "W" questions that I keep asking myself in all the situations - the standard "Why", "What", "When", "Where"... Let me ask myself "How"..

That is about it really - If we keep asking ourselves "How", most of the things will work I guess.. Ask "How do I make this work", instead of asking "Why did this happen", or "When is this going to end" or "What should I do now"... And the thing I realized is that I actually approach all the small daily problems in my professional life that way.. If the build is breaking or the code is not working or if I have to come up with some design, I ask myself and my team "How do we make it work?" And it works beautifully, gives me the correct results, puts me in the right direction, and the line of thought.... However, the sad thing is that I somehow don't tend to apply this logic in my personal life... I stop being logical about situations, I keep asking myself "Why me" or "When" or "What now", too many times, and these questions really do not seem to take me anywhere..

The gist really seems to be to ask "How do I make it work", let us not discuss why something cannot be done or cannot happen... Let us discuss and focus on how the hell it will happen... And surprisingly, it seems to me like the most obvious solution, something that was there in front of my eyes all the time but I had not noticed, something that I was applying in parts of my life quite successfully without realizing its true potential... Now that I have, there are already a couple of things I see that have to work out, with the right question in my head now, I just think they will..

On a cleaning drive

2008-05-25T10:30:00.000-07:00

Once in a while I get these bouts of cleanliness... There are days when I notice the cobwebs in the corners of the rooms, the fan blades that need cleaning up, my wardrobe that seems to be in dire need of rearrangement and setting up or the sofa that needs vacuuming. Well - not that we don't clean the house regularly, we do.. But there are these days when I just feel like taking it upon myself, days when I cannot sit still and have to take the plunge and do a major revamp or rearrangement of things around the place...Today was one such day..

At the end of it, I have a pile of clothes that needs to be dry-cleaned, a set of clothes that I have decided to give away to our bai, a pair of dresses that need some altering to do (long pending task actually!).. I have a much cleaner wardrobe, much emptier actually (aha... time to go shopping?), with clothes categorized as per their types.. (this is the organizer in me trying to sort out things, despite of knowing that it will not work for a long time, and the optimist in me that keeps trying).. Apart from that, I have gotten rid of a few things in my room, I want to do a major revamp really, lets see how that goes....

One thing that this cleaning drive does to me is rejuvenate me in some sense, makes me feel good, clean, clear... As if after this, I am all set (reset rather) to start (restart) once again! Ready to mess up once again :) And well, that freedom and the scope to mess up makes me feel better, much better :)

In the end as always, it is a toast to a new beginning, a new round of messing up and a new wait before I feel compelled to take the plunge once again.

Shelfari bookshelf

2008-05-16T10:37:00.000-07:00

See an addition to my blog? :) It is my Shelfari book shelf.. I am kind of impressed with the idea of Shelfari, the book shelf you can fill up for yourself (and it looks cool!), the way you can share what you are reading currently, what is your wish list, what you plan to read, your favourites.. and get to see what your friends have been reading.. I would say, this is one neat use of social networking... I am already looking forward to reading some new books that I came across on my friend's shelves and filling up my book shelf some more! :)

I am back on Cartoon Network!

2008-04-11T11:54:00.000-07:00

I sometimes feel I have grown old, I hear myself using words like "when I was small, this was not the case" or "when I was a kid, there was no cable, only one Doordarshan channel", "when I was in school, we never used mobile phones", "we never knew what Toblerone is", and the list just continues... Well, it is kind of alarming to hear myself say all of that very often, but the truth remains that things were really different back then, from what they are today.

I believe I belong to that generation which has seen India change, their own city change in enormous measures in front of their eyes.. We have experienced the globalization as it is frequently referred to, the change the opening up of Indian market brought about.. We remember how it was like to have only one Doordarshan channel to entertain us, eagerly waiting for that weekend movies and the cartoons on Sunday.... We appreciate the presence of mobile phones, the Internet connectivity, the advent and growth of the malls and the Multiplexes, the widening of the roads, the fly-overs, the awesome Pune-Mumbai Expressway.

It feels great to be a part of this positive change, the growth, and know that we have seen the more innocent world of the past.. Thankfully, somewhere, that innocence and those memories of the past will always remain with us - only to help us understand and appreciate this world of today much more, a privilege that the kids of today will perhaps not enjoy.

My niece is going to take all the above things as something which ought to be present by default, she will never be able to look at all of this progress the way I do, or my friends or my brother does.. And yet I know, she will perhaps be writing a similar blog (or whatever the blogs are called in 2028) 25 years down the line, looking back at her childhood days... Whatever be her points, the commonness will of course be the "change" she sees, and hopefully it will be only positive..

Well - anyway, I kind of digressed from the subject of this post - Believe it or not, all of the above text and thoughts were triggered by the "Tom and Jerry" show that I have started watching with my niece these days... I had forgotten how loveable they are, and how fresh those characters still are in my mind.. With time, the cartoon topics have changed, we have a Tom and a Jerry going inside the computer these days, or getting trapped inside a Jurassic Park - but what remains unchanged is the sheer treat it is to your mind, a healthy laughter treat.. So yeah, things change, but may be, all things don't!

Heroes happen here..

2008-03-30T06:51:00.000-07:00

I had a brief conversation with a Senior VP in my company over something... One of the things he said was "We make people spend way too much time doing heroics that are not important... Heroes should be left with enough time to do heroisms... And not get burnt out doing unnecessary heroics.."

At that point of time - I came up with an explanation behind the unnecessary "heroic" activity that the person had to perform... But really - are we creating heroes out of nobody? Are we so used to having a hero in the movies and in the novels that come what may, we start looking for and tend to create some such figure everywhere around us - be it at home or at the workplace.. I sometimes think it is one of the ways of feeling secure, or one of the ways for the managers to offload their work to these so-called heroes (or heroines) in their team..

There are always smarter people amongst your smart team membrs - and no doubt these people come forth, they get the focus, they get the accolades - and of course - they are the people who get the responsibilities and the extra work too! What Spiderman says is right - "With power comes responsibility.."

It pays to be a hero, but at the same time, you also pay at times to be recognized as one.. It is up to us (up to the heroes and the heroines) though to choose when to show the heroism and when not to.. In the process - as my Senior VP pointed out - don't get burnt out, and fatigued by the small time heroics and lose the end goal..

Choose the heroisms - and Be assured of being chosen as the Hero every time..

San Francisco visit

2008-01-05T23:33:00.001-08:00

I have been in San Francisco for the last 4 days, a visit after exactly 3 years. I will be leaving tomorrow to Toledo, but this short visit has nonetheless been quite eventful.

Cuisines I have tried out in the last few days: Mediterranean (Falafal – this one was pending for a real long time, now atlast I have tasted it), Thai, Mexican (Had Nachos this time and quite liked it), Chinese (had been to Lucky Creation, apparently one of the best Veg. Chinese restaurants in China Town, SF. A trivia btw, China Town in SF is the largest China Town outside Asia) and yes Indian too (had been to a South Indian hotel "Saravana" for breakfast. And must say, the food was as good as what we get back in India. Interestingly, the waiter was taking orders on a PDA!)

SF decided to show me its worst weather – what with rains and thunderstorms on Friday and Saturday. I was almost swaying while walking down to the office and had to hold onto a pole literally to stop myself from getting pushed by the wind. Managed to visit two of my friends in Sunnyvale though bad weather pretty much confined us to indoor activities. Ended up watching the movie "Kite Runner" in the AMC theatre. Oh yes, and went for a short walk to Farmer's market – a sophisticated version of "mandai" actually. The best part of that walk was the "free", "sample" pieces of cakes, breads and fruits kept outside the shops, which we of course tried out, quite shamelessly :)

Did not get to visit the real "touristy" places out here, but all in all, it has been a nice short trip (just the way I prefer). Btw, make a note of http://transit.511.org/, useful to plan out your trip within the city using the various commuting options you have here.

Mark as Unread

2007-12-15T04:47:00.001-08:00

I have found one nice way of making sure I do not miss out on e-mails that I have put on a back-burner, to be read and replied to later, whenever I get some free time. These days, I have started marking all such e-mails as "Unread". I turn them to "Read" only after I have read them, and replied to them if necessary. Working quite well for me..

Project Management…

2007-12-13T02:47:00.001-08:00

Following are some points that I personally need to work on, as an individual developer and for my team in general:

Giving enough time for testing and code reviews
Handling delays to the project caused by external factors sooner – informing the client about it on time and getting an approval or confirmation from them – This is more than just sending an e-mail about the delay, need to be very sensitive to the cost factor when delays occur
Handling change requests in terms of cost change
Finding alternative methods / techniques to reduce the delays if possible

I realized that there is a lot of scope for improvement for me in these aspects. Sigh – why do mistakes and learning never ever stop?

What you “want to do”, and what you “can” do!

2007-12-10T00:22:00.001-08:00

In the last one year, I must say I have done quite a few things that I was afraid of – there was a fear in my mind about whether I would be able to handle these situations, and even if I could, how good would I be at them. And now after having done those things, I can only say that all the fear, all the fright was just a fear of unknown.

And without sounding too pompous, I just want to say that I am happy I made those decisions, it was more of challenging myself, making myself get out of my comfort zone, taking on those opportunities head on – and then putting in my best to get it done. There is a long way to go still, but I think I am already on the right track.

There really are two things in professional life – things that you want to do, and things that you can do. And as I think about this more, I realize that in the initial years of your career at least – the "what you can do" things play an important role in making you realize your true potential. There is a long way before anyone can really say "oh, I have been there and done all that". Till that time, there will always be the "first times" and it is very crucial you do not become complacent, and you stretch your own limits almost every day of your job. Another thing I believe in, and my belief gets stronger as I become senior – it is sometimes necessary to grab work. Raise your hand; do not expect your managers or colleagues to do that for you. One of my senior colleagues had put it very nicely for me, when I had just joined my company – "Make sure your plate is always full". I will add a little more to it and say that – "Make sure your plate is always full, let the main course be of things that you like to do. But make sure your dessert is made of things that you do because you want to see what you "can" do".

Before you go ahead and make a list of things that you "like to do", and "want to do", be sure you have done ALL of it, before you narrow down your own options. For all you know – you will be very good at something that you were scared of. And trust me – the feeling of overcoming your fear, and succeeding at what you set out for is unmatched. Do those things for the thrill of experiencing that feeling – and you will find yourself smiling through your fears!

Lessons at work

2007-12-07T17:32:00.001-08:00

Make sure you send out e-mails, make sure you keep all the concerned parties on the same page – when things go wrong, every person by nature will try to get out scot-free, pass the buck onto someone else – Do not give that chance to yourself and to others!
Keep your manager and your manager's manager in the loop ALWAYS. Irrespective of how menial or how small the matter is. Trust me – you never know what will snowball when.
Say NO to work that does not fall under your role or jurisdiction – it is almost stupid to do somebody else's job for goodwill, when you have other important / urgent things to do yourself.
It isn't about what you can do – it really is about what you want to do. That makes all the difference. All the things that you "have" to do will not give you the satisfaction at the end of the day – so while you do those tasks, also do something that makes you feel good about yourself.
Mistakes happen - make a note of the mistake you did, and remember not to repeat it. Make that mistake into experience. And move on. Don't lose your sleep over them.
Missed chances, opportunities that seemed interesting and promising not materializing - this is a part and parcel of professional life - you lose some, you win some. Just accept that.

No option

2007-12-02T05:33:00.001-08:00

Tell yourself – defeat is not an option. And you will be fine most of the times!

If love is blind..

2007-11-05T10:35:00.000-08:00

If love is blind, hatred is something that gives you an extra vision - almost like a third eye you do not really need...

Think about it - it is true. If you have loved someone and if you have hated someone (which I believe most of us must have done at some or the other point, in some or the other way), you will realize that hatred is far more consuming than love. Hatred makes you see things and read things that really are totally unnecessary, and though they might be true, they are just plain useless.

Think twice before you decide to hate someone - it is totally not worth it.

Specific random thought

2007-10-12T11:22:00.000-07:00

Support, help, affection - comes from the most unexpected places and people. It is just about looking around, opening up and accepting people and letting them into your life...

"Balled" out

2007-09-15T05:37:00.001-07:00

India defeated Pakistan in the 20-20 World Cup game and entered the Super eight! And how did they win? They won 3-0! Yup - I am talking about a cricket match here, not hockey.

Yesterday's match has a lot of firsts to its credit and I am sure more than anyone else Dhoni is going to remember it for his life - his first match as a Captain, first 20-20 World Cup, and first ever Ball Out in the history of cricket. And to top it all, a match between India and Pakistan. Indians couldn't have asked for more. The bow that Robin took after his direct hit said it all.

Finding time..Making time

2007-09-13T09:44:00.000-07:00

Making time for things other than work - that is one thing I want to work towards. I have a couple of good friends here, but I have not met them in the last so many months now. We chat once in a while and tell each other "lets meet soon" and that "soon" never seems to come.

What are we doing? Why are we doing things that we are doing? Why do we start running in the rat race without even realizing we are in one? Shouldn't this stop at some point of time?

It should, it has to. And the most important thing is that we are not even doing as much as we should. Your manager tells you, you need to be better, and you actually agree! Which means, you have to work not just better, but "smarter". And what is "smarter"? Working smarter means understanding what is important and what is not, what is urgent and what is not, what can be delegated and what cannot be, and understanding "how to delegate" and how much to do yourself. In the end, it is all about being "smart"!

I am not sure right now how I am going to go about doing all this, but I have to reach that place, soon enough and fast enough.

Every woman should...

2007-09-06T09:34:00.000-07:00

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
enough money within her control to move outand rent a place of her own,
even if she never wants to or needs to...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
something perfect to wear if the employer,
or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..
a youth she's content to leave behind....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
one friend who always makes her laugh...
and one who lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal,
that will make her guests feel honored...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to fall in love without losing herself..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to quit a job,
break up with a lover,
and confront a friend without ruining the friendship...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
when to try harder...
and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that her childhood may not have been perfect...but its over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
whom she can trust, whom she can't and why she shouldn't take it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
where to go...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table...
or a charming inn in the woods...
when her soul needs soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she can and can't accomplish in a day...a month...and a year...

Basics of Eye care

2007-09-02T06:54:00.001-07:00

Use a good under eye gel - particularly for people who suffer from the problem of dark circles
Use sunscreen every day, one with SPF above or equal to 15 - I used to think that someone who sits in A/C rooms all day does not even have to care about sunscreens, but as my doctor said - applying a sunscreen will help even if you are sitting in front of the computer for a long period of time (Computer screen also gives out small amount of UV radiation, especially the CRT type of displays)
Get enough sleep and a sound sleep - well, ok - this depends a lot on your lifestyle, your job etc. etc.
Drink enough water - How much is enough? My doctor said about 2 litres of water!! (that definitely means I have to start using a bigger water bottle)
Cut down on caffeine and sodium - that means my dear coffee :( - The reason behind this is that caffeine and sodium promote water retention, causing puffy eyes
Take multi-vitamins and increase the intake of fruits and vegetables in your every day diet - preferrably one fruit every day
If your eyes feel very tired, apply tea bags, or cucumber slices, or cotton soaked in rose water, twice or thrice a week, for about 10 mins.

Some exercises for eyes:

If you have been starting at the monitor for a long time, don't close your eyes immediately (we tend to so many times). Look in infinity or at some distant object for some time and then close the eyes.
Move your eyes in all directions - up, down, right and left - and do this for 10 minutes, at least twice a day (find a place where people cannot see you :-))

These exercises help tighten the eye muscles, reducing the retention of toxins around your eyes.

p.s.: Tips - courtesy Kaya Skin Clinic

Back with... a Bi-cycle

2007-09-02T02:55:00.000-07:00

I am back to cycling after a gap of almost 11 years. And I must say I am feeling good about it. Thanks to my brother, I am a proud owner of a brand new black cycle! Most importantly I have been using it for the last 2 weeks for a ride, either in the morning or in the evening, at least once in a day. Being an inherently lazy person when it comes to exercises of any form, I am finding cycling a lot better, enjoyable, faster and cheaper as compared to walking or jogging or aerobics or the boring gymming.

Yes, losing weight, keeping fit, saving petrol and reducing my contribution towards pollution are no doubt some of the expectations at the end of it all. But even before I see those results, I am already seeing one side effect - Thanks to my cycle rides, I know the slopes and potholes on the roads in my area far better today that what I knew a few days back. And yes, one more thing - I have learnt that the shock absorber is a very important piece of the machinery in your vehicles - appreciate its presence :)

Serendipitous find :)

2007-09-01T13:10:00.000-07:00

http://www.sudhirsclasses.com/HTML/XII_MeritList.htm

- Search for "Rahalkar" or check out the 1996-1997 section :)

Other side of 27

2007-08-31T23:13:00.000-07:00

I turned 27 a few months back.. And though it is said you should only look at the future and not look at the past - I have not been able to really stick to that. It hasn't been a day of sudden enlightenment - the feeling that you are a senior now kind of starts creeping in even before 27, especially in IT industry where the average age of people around you is not more than 30 and a place where an experience of 3 or 4 years matters and puts you in the bracket of people who are expected to take on more and "senior" responsibilities.

I have found myself looking back at the last 27 years of my life - and actually more so the last 6 years, years post my graduation, 6 years of job and being out on my own in a world apart from the safety and protection of home, school and college. Many times I have heard myself saying - "oh, you know, things were different back then when I joined the company", I have found myself catching up with my old college friend and remembering how it was 10 years back when we first met, and then saying to each other "oh, weren't we really stupid then?"..

Not that I do not do stupid things any more (oh I wish I stopped doing them), but words and sentences like "Experience is the best teacher" kind of start making sense. A lot of things your parents and elders said to you about a lot of things start seeming to be correct. And a lot of it is something you had ignored on purpose as a teenager. You look back and find yourself smiling on that stupid first crush, which never really went beyond those stupid smiles. You look back and find a lot of situations which you know you would handle differently now. You have your share of failures, some big, some small, most of them that will remain with you as reminders of things you perhaps did wrong. You realize your treasure chest of memories is quite big now, memories of friends and people you met and somewhere lost touch with along the way, memories of the academic successes, your first job experiences, memories that often make you smile and cry at the same time..

As one of my friend had said - as you grow, you become less and less flexible. It becomes that much more difficult to retrace the steps that brought you where you are and made you the kind of person you are. You have already been moulded by now, and you start accepting yourself the way you are. Those teenage tussles of coming to terms with people around you and yourself kind of die down. You emerge out of all that - with the knowledge of how and what you are and how much and what you want to achieve.

The best part of being on the other side though is that you know yourself far better, your own failures, your own successes, your pluses and your minuses. And you know from your first-hand experiences that things will go wrong sometimes and that every failure is not and does not have to be the end of anything. The best part is you learn to live and come to appreciate a lot of things that you did not care about earlier. As my friend said - you become calmer - I guess that is what is commonly referred to as "being mature" and "being grown-up".. Well, yes - people like me need to be on the other side of 27 to realize a lot of this!

Desperate times... Desperate measures

2007-06-19T11:25:00.000-07:00

I normally go to office and come back home by a taxi... Today, as it was supposed to happen - I had nothing less than 50 EUR in cash, I had a card, but the taxi did not have a card machine, the taxi driver did not have change for 50 EUR (strange?... oh no, as it turns out, people here really do not carry cash!)...

The sequence of events, after I figured I had to get 12 EUR to pay to the taxi driver somehow:

1. I ask for change in a pharmacy shop, he does not have any
2. I see an Indian family entering their apartment - I rush to them with hope - but they also do not have more than 5 or 6 EUR in cash at home!
3. The taxi driver tells me to get into the car, we go in search of a shop where we can ask for change - we come back to the apartment, after going round in a circle - aha - no shop in the vicinity!
4. The taxi driver then drives me to a nearby ATM center - but as I tell him, it is no use. Highly unlikely that the ATM center is going to give me 10 EUR notes!
5. The taxi driver tells me to ask at the reception desk of a hotel :) I do that too - come out empty handed.. The receptionist also does not have change for 50 EUR.

As luck may have it, I see a guy outside the hotel door, talking to someone - and I recognize him as someone whom I have seen at Bridgestone, and have in fact exchanged a formal hi/hello with a few times.. The taxi driver has already started giving me dirty looks, he is so visibly pissed off with me (I am sure he was thinking - what kind of girl is this - carries so much of cash in her purse).

I take a chance, and blurt out my problem to that guy, he smiles at me (yes, he is obviously amused) - but he gives me the much needed 12 EUR... He says.... "I don't know your name, but I know your face.. So I am going to give the money to you :-)".. I smile back, it is a smile of relief.. I immediately hand over the money to the taxi driver and decide to walk back to my apartment... In fact, York and I (the good samaritan's name is York) walk back together (he also happens to live nearby), having a nice, light-hearted conversation along the way.

Interestingly, what started off as a frantic search for 12 EUR ended up very well, an experience and a meeting that I am sure going to remember for a long time to come!

Home for 6 weeks...

2007-06-17T05:14:00.000-07:00

My favourite corner in the apartment...
Views from the balcony

Current favourite: Metro

2007-06-17T03:32:00.000-07:00

Surprisingly, I have caught up on a lot of movies here in Brussels.. And the current favourite of mine has to be Metro... and all the songs in that movie.. Particularly - "Alvida" and "Hai tujhe bhi ijazat"...

There is a bigger plan for each one of us

2007-06-14T10:18:00.000-07:00

At times, it is so relaxing and heartening to just say to yourself - "God has a bigger plan for me".. Try repeating that to yourself a couple of times, remind yourself again and again - the more you accept that as a truth, the easier and simpler things seem to be.. Small worries, tensions, some misgivings and misunderstandings seem to get smaller and smaller... till a point where you actually start seeing beyond a lot of petty, small issues that seem very big in the immediate short term...

Try that - it works. Think long term.

Justifications

2007-06-13T15:24:00.000-07:00

Are justifications heard? Are they respected? Are they accepted?

I don't know - I wish I knew the answer. Many times, I have found myself in situations where I justify, I defend - myself, my actions, my thinking behind a certain action. It is almost always an attempt to make others see my point, to give reasons behind how what was interpreted was not intended. Unfortunately, many times, my intentions behind an action and people's interpretations of those actions have been so disparate; the difference has been surprising, sometimes shocking and at times plain disturbing.

The more I experience this, the more I realize that justifications / explanations / discussions / defending take you nowhere. Because, as my questions in the beginning indicate - I am not sure any of these are looked at in the right manner. They are not taken as an attempt to put across the point, instead they are looked upon as acceptance of something done wrong... How many times have you said to yourself..."aah... see, she is coming up with all these explanations, because she accepts her mistake.."?

Whether I get the answer or not, I know, I will again find myself in situations where I do that, where I defend, where I try to explain to put across my point - and whenever I do it, I will always tell myself - I am doing this, because, I have the right to an opinion and thinking as an individual, because I was right in my own way. The day the other person also thinks that way - it will be ok, the day he / she does not - I would have just given another "justification" - useless, and valueless.

You are what people make of you

2007-06-13T14:08:00.000-07:00

For a very long time, and should I say till the time I was immature enough to believe that - I believed that it is only important for you to know that you are good, and be convinced about that. For a very long time, I believed that being a good human being, a good person, a good friend is the most important thing.

And then I realized that it is equally important that others feel that way about you! You may think very highly of yourself, you may tell yourself that you are good, but if others around you do not think that way - you are not. Period. Whether they are right or wrong, whether they misunderstand or misinterpret. Nothing much matters, except this - In a world, where you are not alone, you are what people around you make of you.

Some of the best things come in small packages

2007-06-10T14:34:00.000-07:00

Taking a hot shower bath in a cold, chilly weather - heavenly
Sipping hot coffee on a cold, winter day
Eating kanda bhaji sitting next to the window, watching the rain falling outside
Catching your favourite movie on a TV channel, when you least expect it..
Reaching that point in a novel when you just can't keep it down
Seeing your code working :) (Ok, that is the techie in me)
Sunday afternoon siesta
Allowing yourself to indulge in a yummy piece of pastry...

I am inside the computer :)

2007-06-10T11:58:00.000-07:00

Jui: aatya, where are you? Where are you talking from?
Arati: I am in Brussels, Jui...
Jui: aatya, are you inside the computer?
Arati: lol (cannot stop myself from laughing out loud) - No Jui, I am in Brussels
Jui: aatya, when will you come outside? I miss you...
Arati: (finally I give up and accept her theory :)) Yes, Jui.. I am inside the computer.. I will come outside on 6th July..

So folks, for the next 4 weeks, I am inside the computer :) See you when I am outside...

p.s. - Of course, all this conversation was in Marathi (This is the translated version :))

My niece...Jui

2007-06-05T12:55:00.000-07:00

My niece - Jui - has been the topic of my blog some time back too... Why you ask? The reason is simple, I just love her so much :)

She is a funny 3 year old, with the sweetest smile, and with the most innocent and genuine laughter. She won the "Most Neat and Tidy Student" award at her school this year :). She is a total "aaji bai" as I call her, telling everyone in the house to not shout too much, and not to enter in the house with their shoes on, helping out her grandmother and her mother in the kitchen (yes, she does that, and does that very well, so much so, that there have been times when I have had to enter into the kitchen, not out of liking but out of shame :))..

She calls me aatya (that is Aunt in Marathi), and the word had never sounded sweeter before. She is the one who normally wakes me up in the morning, and I almost always tend to prolong my sleep so that she comes upstairs searching for me. Aatya for her is like her friend - and I so hope it remains that way always.

21st century kid that she is - I guess she has picked up talking on GTalk very easily.. yes, these days, we talk over Google Talk - which basically means I have to just shut up and listen to all her nursery rhymes that she rattles off one after the other. It is a long time from now that I get to meet her again - a real long period of 2 months, and I seem to be missing her already..

Come to think of it, there was a time in my life, when I had confessed to my mother that I cannot play with small kids! I just never understood what conversation to have with them :) Well, that was me back then, and this is me now - aatya to my lovely niece Jui.

Quote

2007-06-02T10:51:00.000-07:00

Winners are too busy to be sad, too positive to be doubtful, too optimistic to be fearful and too determined to be defeated.

- Have you ever felt sad, doubted yourself and others, feared for something or felt defeated? If you have, don't. That is not what winners are supposed to be spending time on.

Taxi Drivers in Brussels

2007-06-02T09:18:00.000-07:00

Taxi Driver 1: I met him twice coincidentally. The first time round I had asked him whether he knows any shopping center close by. Second time round, he remembered me and enquired whether I found it or not.

Taxi Driver 2: An old gentleman, seemed very knowledgable. For a change, could speak very good English. When I complimented him on that, he told he knows 4 languages, has worked in Agriculture Research. He knew about Mumbai, because a long time ago, he had a girlfriend from Mumbai!. We had a nice conversation for those 15 minutes, and while leaving he said philosophically, "nice meeting you. My grandfather always used to say - Trees do not meet, people meet!" :-)

Taxi Driver 3: He had no idea where Kleine Kloosterstraat is, he searched for a wrong road in his navigator. We ended up roaming around Brussels for 30 mins finding the location, which normally takes 10 mins from my apartment. The meter was shooting up with every passing minute - at the end it showed 30.5 EUR, that otherwise reads something like 12 or 13 EUR. While I was worrying about the unnecessary extra euros I will have to shell out, he tells me - "Don't worry. We will find the way. And don't worry about the extra money". And indeed he sticks to his word, and takes only 15 EUR from me. (well, a little more than usual, but much better than 30!)

Quote

2007-06-02T00:55:00.001-07:00

We so easily believe what our heart wants to believe and so easily ignore what our mind knows.

My stock for the next few days/weeks?

2007-05-31T11:09:00.000-07:00

Edelweiss, Bless my homeland forever

2007-05-30T11:18:00.000-07:00

Edelweiss, edelweiss,
every morning you greet me.
Small and white,
clean and bright,
you look happy to meet me.
Blossom of snow, may you bloom and grow,
bloom and grow forever.
Edelweiss, edelweiss,
bless my homeland forever.

-- A sweet little song from Sound of Music, loved it when towards the end of the movie, the entire Von Trapp family sing this song, with all the love for their homeland, and the sorrow of having to leave it pouring out from every word of this song..

It has been a long day!

2007-05-30T10:42:00.000-07:00

I am in Brussels since yesterday and man - did I have a long day or what? - with the sun refusing to set till almost 10:15 in the night. Couldn't believe there was good enough light till about 10.

Looks like I am in for some real "long days" in the coming few weeks :-)

My 10 commandments

2007-05-27T12:05:00.000-07:00

1. Don't hang onto the past. Past soon becomes a baggage too heavy to carry.

2. Every day is a new day. Start with a clean slate, write / scribble / draw on it. At night see what you have on the slate, memorize it and simply erase it.

3. Try to the best of your abilities, be it in professional or personal life. After you are convinced you have tried everything from your side, stop. If you succeed - luck was on your side. If you fail - life is unfair anyway.

4. At any point in time, if I look back, I don't want to ever give myself a chance of saying "Arati - see, you failed because you did not try enough". Yes, I will fail, but I don't want to be the reason for that failure.

5. Don't expect your best friend to always understand you and be by your side. Understand and accept that people change, their priorities and preferences change.

6. Work on today and dream for future. Dreams always do not come true, but they give you the hope and energy for the next day.

7. Remember the carrot and the rabbit story - you are a rabbit, and it is your responsibility to show yourself a carrot now and then. Don't expect anybody else to do that for you. You may not get the carrot, but it is going to make the journey bearable.

8. Don't analyze the whats, whys and hows in your life too much. As the software engineers say - Don't get into an analysis paralysis situation. Post-mortems are done on dead people, and let it just remain that way.

9. Learn to say no, when you want to say no - and say it.

10. Above all, accept yourself, as you are. If you don't, nobody else will.

Sakhe ga saye

2007-05-16T10:52:00.000-07:00

A very sweet and hopeful Marathi poem, heard it a few years back and loved it. It has remained with me since then.

"sakhe ga saye, gauya ata
anandachi gani ga...

atalya aata, piyuna taku
dolyatale pani ga...

panyavar tya eka navyacha,
phutel ankura ga...

visavayala eka navyane
milel maher ga...

tula ni mala daveel disha
ek swatahcha tara ga...

shodhun tyala, jinkuna gheu
khel ha sara ga.."

Update: And here is the song (in my voice :-P) http://arati.rahalkar.googlepages.com/sakhe.wav

Lizard fight!

2007-05-12T11:55:00.000-07:00

Time - 11:30 pm, Location - My room, Saturday night, I am reading interesting stuff on the Net, reading blogs, some nice topic cooking up in my head, thinking about what to write next in my blog, songs going on in the background - in short, a nice, relaxing Saturday night in progress.

I take a small break and look around the room and I see a brown, big, fat lizard on one of the walls - looking at me - as if ready to jump from there directly on my laptop. Though I have studied biology till 12th and I know the mechanics behind how the lizards manage to crawl and remain stuck to the walls - I always have this fear in my mind that it will somehow lose the grasp and fall from the ceiling right on me!

I hate the sight of the lizards, forget living with one in my room. The small break I took obviously gets extended - with my eyes not leaving her, and following her wherever she goes. The lizard moves all around the place, not understanding that I have opened up the windows for her to leave! Finally, I use my safe, yet, dependable weapon - a real long stick to shoo it off in the right direction and after a fight of almost 15 mins - the lizard gets out of my room.

Phew - so much for a relaxing Saturday night! And just because that stupid lizard wasted my precious 15 minutes, I decided to waste another 15 writing this blog..

Meeting Bheemabai

2007-05-12T09:06:00.000-07:00

I met our oldest maid servant today, very unexpectedly. She was with us from my birth till I was in 4th or 5th Std. I think. As far back as I can remember, she was my favourite then - I remember running behind her all the time.. Bheemabai to me, is a woman, who loved me a lot, who pampered me a lot, and someone whom I accompanied and helped when it came to washing utensils!

When I met her today in her small one room house, all those memories came flooding back..I wanted to talk to her, but all I could manage was a smile for some time.. I almost choked and I had to actually fight back tears... Perhaps it was because of seeing her as an old lady in an unimaginably small house or plainly out of the realization that so many years have passed since the last time I saw her. And even after all these years, the most amazing part was that the love I felt towards her when I met her today, was not one-sided - when she affectionately stroked my head and patted my back, it was like meeting my Bheemabai again - the way I remember her and the way I always want to remember her. When my mother asked her to drop by some time, she said.. "Yes, I will come for Arati's wedding!"

There are some relationships in our lives that just get formed, we hardly have a role to play in their formation. Small or large, they become a part of our lives and remain with us, in a small corner of our hearts. We don't nurture these relationships, we don't take any extra effort to make them special, to make sure these people do not forget us. But yet, they remain, intact, strong and safe, like bonds that never break. For some reason, they make me believe in the goodness of life and in the goodness of people.

Delegation

2007-05-07T03:00:00.000-07:00

Read an article that talked about the following 7 levels of delegation:

1. "Wait and be told, or do exactly what I say" - this is the no-delegation-at-all approach.

2. "Look into this and tell me what you come up with" - this is asking for investigation and analysis but no recommendation

3. "Give me your recommendation, and other options with the pro's and con's of each. I'll let you know if you can go ahead." - Asks for analysis and recommendation, but you're going to check the thinking before deciding.

4. "Decide and let me know your decision. But wait for my go ahead." - you are signaling that your subordinate is trusted to judge the various options, but (s)he needs approval before taking action.

5. "Decide and let me know your decision. Go ahead unless I say stop." - At this level the other person is starting to control the action. This is a good timesaving increase in autonomy.

6. "Decide and take action, but let me know what you did." - Here we are saving more time. This approach allows for a quick reaction on your part if the decision made was a bad one.

7. "Decide and take action. You don't need to check with me." - At this level you are giving your subordinate the most freedom possible. It demonstrates a high level of confidence in them. Ensure you have good controls in place to flag any mistakes before they can become a major hassle.

I have always found delegation to be a tough thing to do, I think it is more of an art, that some people have inherently and some people need to learn over a period of time. Wondering which level I fall in. I seem to be prefering a combination of 2 and 3 - but then again - I am still learning the art!

From Doctors...

2007-04-22T09:51:00.000-07:00

Robbie to Laura Castellano:

God's played a dirty trick on you. He gave you everything. Only probably He was so snowed by the result, He just forgot to add that final touch of confidence. Okay, so I wasn't the guy. It won't be easy but I will deal with it. I only hope that someday someone pounds a little sense into that gorgeous head of yours and makes you like yourself.

Rightly said...

2007-04-05T11:03:00.002-07:00

Whoever said - "It is better to have loved and lost, than to have not loved at all", DID NOT love and lose!

:-) Saw this as a status message against someone's name in IM. Whoever said the line above, sure got it right!

Quote of the Day

2007-04-05T11:03:00.001-07:00

Don't give up. Moses was once a basket case.

Hopeful Quote

2007-03-27T04:04:00.000-07:00

We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope. -- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Is that always possible? And is that the right thing to do always? Doesn't this totally contradict with the principle of "letting go" in some cases?

Going back to college... As a guest lecturer :-)

2007-03-26T03:24:00.000-07:00

Last week, I went back to my college after almost 4 long years... With a very special reason and intention - that of delivering a guest lecture on "Design Patterns" to the 4th year students! And wow - did that not feel great :-)

I had never imagined myself as a teacher or a lecturer for that matter. But like a few things that just happen without taking a lot of effort, this one fell into my lap too. The lecture went well, the students liked it hopefully :-) and I got back a small memento in return!. It felt good to go back to my old class-room as a teacher. I was almost tempted to take a roll call :-)

However small or big, important or not important, this one definitely qualifies to be in "proud moments" list for me :-)

Expectations

2007-03-06T20:49:00.000-08:00

Expectations - you have them from everyone - from yourself, from your friends, from your colleagues, from your team-members, your manager, your maid, your parents, just about everyone whom you meet and know and interact with..

Expectations ranging from - "She should call me for lunch" to "He should call me up once in a while, why should I be the one to call always" to "They should wait for me to have a meeting" to "My manager should put a +ve performance note for me" to "My work should be appreciated" to "My niece should play with me without crying whenever I am home" to "My mother should always be there for me" to ....

Sometimes knowingly, sometimes unknowingly, before we even realize, we build up this pile of expectations from everyone... and at some point that pile becomes too heavy to carry... You then decide that you are not going to keep expectations from people... Not realizing that all you did was just add one more expectation from yourself to that pile!

One shot at writing a poem!

2007-02-21T20:57:00.000-08:00

I really admire and envy people who can put down their thoughts in the form of poems and stories - that is such a great gift a person can get... I wish I could write poems, this is the one and only one I have been able to write :-) - my first and last shot at being even remotely creative...

I am trying to follow the SUN
Taking each day as it comes,
I wonder whether that would be fun
But seems like the right thing to be done..

The SUN does his job, no matter what..
Not withstanding the clouds that at times make him blot...
As the night falls and the MOON takes over,
The blazing SUN retreats and goes down under..
Only to rise and shine again the next day,
And bring fresh new hopes along the way.

The SUN, The MOON and the myriad different STARS
All share just one blue sky, without any wars
Each with its distinct significance, importance and place,
Co-exist in one big space.

All these STARS seem to tell me a lot,
Make me look within to see what I have got,
They tell me to believe what my heart says but my ears fail to hear,
That I want to be up there somehwere..
Unshakeable, resilient and strong like the Pole Star.

Some words I would rather do without!

2007-02-21T02:19:00.000-08:00

I have heard people using some of these words in their colloquial every day English far too often. I have got irritated by these words each time I have heard them and today I am just trying to list them down. Some of them are probably very innocent, harmless words, but for some reason, I don't like them.

1. Words like "wanna" and "gonna" - You can be an American if you want to, but I don't like it being used. Period.

2. Awesome - Overly overused

3. Rocking, Lets rock - overused again! Kind of lost its meaning because of that..

4. Sexy - I fail to understand how anything and everything can be sexy, right from something like a design document to some restaurant to somebody's dress or to some real person. For a very long time actually, I thought only a "person" could be sexy!

5. Well - What does this word mean any way? Didn't it mean being "well" as in not being "sick". But the use of this word at the start of every sentence kind of makes me sick in fact. When a person starts his / her sentence with a "Well...", I start getting doubts. Is he serious, is he being sarcastic, is he not sure of what he is saying?. And at the end of such a sentence, I can almost never really judge that person's intention. Find its use very dubious.

Perhaps there are some more, will update this blog if I remember of any or worse than that come across them again in the coming days :-)

Copied poem, but nice...

2007-02-20T01:00:00.000-08:00

One day you will see
That it all has finally come together.
What you have always wished for,
Has finally come to be.

You will look back
And laugh at what has passed
And you will ask yourself
"How did I get through all of that?"

Just never let go of hope,
And never quit dreaming,
And never let love depart from your life.

Quote of the Day - Original!

2007-02-20T00:59:00.000-08:00

Don't feel stupid when you realize you are stupid. If you realize that you are stupid, you are not really stupid.

Things that make you cry...

2007-01-08T23:46:00.000-08:00

Are things that you do from the heart,
Are things that you do with passion..
Most of the times putting in more than 100% from your side..

My belief got proved once again the other day when I saw one of the contestants of a talent-hunt show breaking down in front of the camera when she got eliminated..I don't want to get into the debate of whether it is real or whether it is done just for publicity sake, or even whether these moments should be captured on camera or not..

The funny part is: If you fail in such a task that is close to your heart - you get tears in your eyes because you failed in doing what you really wanted to do... If you succeed - you get tears in your eyes, and as they say - they are tears of joy, they are tears of finally seeing the results for which you strived really hard.

So next time, anything brings tears to your eyes - just know that it is not because you are a person who is weak at heart, it is just that whatever it is you did - you did with full passion and from the bottom of your heart..

Quick health check

2007-01-05T03:34:00.000-08:00

If you start coming up with a personal password that includes the name of a person, know for sure that you are in love with that person..

If your passwords start containing the name of your current project, know that you are totally obsessed with it (read neck deep into it)..

Does Tit for Tat really work?

2006-12-15T11:11:00.000-08:00

Does the saying "Tit for Tat" really make sense? Do you really give an eye for an eye in other words? For every action, there has to be and there will be a reaction. But should the reaction be the same as action?

If a person A behaves in a certain manner with person B, should person B also behave with person A in a similar manner? Is a slap really the right way to respond to another slap?
I think - Tit for Tat must have first been said by a person who was mad with anger, and had only revenge on his mind. Tit for Tat, according to me, cannot be a wise reaction, not something you really want to do in life. Yes - I believe, there are many occasions in our day-to-day lives when you react that way - you want to just do what the other person did to you. However, in the end, you will only realize that - hey, when did I become like that person? Why did I start thinking that way?

There isn't really a Tit for Tat. I firmly believe that everyone should be what they are. The more you try to be like another person, the more you try and give it back to people, whatever they give to you, the more you are losing your individuality and every little thing that makes you, that defines you.

A Tit for Tat may seem good initially, but in the end, it will only make you feel bad - not really for the other person, but more so for you yourself. Be yourself, do what you believe in, without really worrying too much about what people feel, or whether they appreciate it, or value it, or like it. Perhaps a few people won't like you for the way you are, but at least you will be at peace with yourself.

Amsterdam

2006-11-27T13:11:00.000-08:00

Amsterdam - capital of Netherlands, known for Tulips as we all know it, with one of them named after our very own Aishwarya Rai!

I visited Amsterdam on Saturday, 25th Nov. - took a guided bus tour from Brussels. The distance between Brussels and Amsterdam is a mere 220 km, which we covered in around 2.5 hours. I managed to catch the last trip of the season, no trips will go from the next weekend till perhaps March / April, when the spring sets in.

Needless to say, I had a lot of expectations from this visit, and perhaps because of that I ended getting not so impressed by what I experienced and saw. Of course, Amsterdam is beautiful, and I suppose for an art lover offers a lot of choices and options with the famous Van Gogh museum and one other museum whose name I have forgotten. If one wants, you can also have the beer making experience at Heineken brewery, very close from where the canals cruises start.

The canal ride for 1.5 hours was a little too long I felt, the boat was covered, and I found the canal waters to be not so clean, especially after seeing the nice, small canals of Brugge. The boat ride experience in Brugge was far too romantic, beautiful and scenic as compared to the one in Amsterdam.

After the boat ride, our guide took us for a small tour of the Red Light District of Amsterdam (ahem! :-)).. honestly we were out of it in 5 mins :-)..

We were pretty much on our own after that, and I happened to be the only one in the group who knew about Anne Frank, and so set out on the search of Anne Frank's house.. It was not too far away from the famous Dam Square of Amsterdam, but unfortunately, there was a long queue outside the house and so couldn't see the house from inside. I had to content myself with a photo next to the Anne Frank statue.

The Dam Square of Amsterdam is I suppose the oldest square and has the Royal Palace from where the Queen of Amsterdam works. One thing you cannot help but notice in Amsterdam is the number of people - for a city in Europe, there are too many people, it happens to be the highest density city in Europe. And you really see a lot of people, merry, happy people, walking, on cycles, in trams, cars.. so much that crossing the road was getting a little difficult for an Indian like me.

Some facts about the Dutch are very amusing - around 80% of the Dutch population owns a bicycle. They say almost every Dutch family goes for a long trip at least once a year, these people like to enjoy life.. and it was evident from the people I saw at the Dam square. Holland or Netherlands (actually Holland is just one province of Netherlands) was a very poor country, and the wooden clogs that are so famous were the cheapest and hence were used in the olden times instead of using leather boots.

We visited a clogs workshop, where the person told us about the various types of clogs - Red clogs for dancing, Carved ones to be worn only on the wedding day, yellow ones for working and white plain ones considered to be the most ordinary and cheap. Today, Amsterdam is one of the biggest exporters of cheese, milk, electricity (wind-mills of Holland are famous), and tulips of course.

All in all - I felt one day did not do justice to the city of Amsterdam, and then I think one should visit this city in April-May when you get to see the tulips! It was a nice trip, because I got to visit Amsterdam after all, but I guess it was a case of what happens when you have far too many expectations from a place to begin with ! :-)

btw - that one is me, with the Amsterdam canals in the background :-) For a few more photos, take a look at: http://picasaweb.google.com/arati.rahalkar/Amsterdam25thNov2006

Brugge

2006-11-23T14:13:00.000-08:00

Canals, chocolates, cycles, horse carriages, paved roads, old style architecture buildings and churches dating back to the 13th, 14th and 15th century, shops full of lace work, a nice mix of old and new - that is Brugge for you.. or Bruges - the way the French will like to pronounce it.

Brugge is perhaps the third largest city of Beligum, part of the Flanders region of Belgium, around one hour by train from Brussels. It is referred to as the Venice of North, and is famous for chocolates and lace making. And you get to see ample of chocolatiers and lace work all around the place. It is unique in its own way - the best part is having paved roads everywhere.. Gives it such a different feel altogether..

I spent almost one entire day in Brugge, roamed around with a Mexican group I met at the train station. They, like me, were there as tourits for a day, and it was a nice experience roaming around with them - telling them tidbits about India and Indian culture and arranged marriages and trying to dispel their misconception that in India the bride and groom see each other for the first time on the day of the marriage! People still have such ideas about India - though I agree there must be lots of places in India where it still does happen.

The best part of the entire Brugge day was the half an hour boat ride in the canals.. It feels so great to pass from below the small bridges, with people walking on the roads alongside, lined by beautiful houses and bungalows, and really old tall buildings looking down at you.. Brugge is definitely a very romantic city, I had read that in one of the reviews and I totally agree with that reviewer..

Some people will say Ghent and Antwerp are perhaps more beautiful and scenic than Brugge, but nonetheless, I found Brugge to be a must-visit place if you are anywhere near it.. A very relaxing and pleasing one day get away from Brussels - that is Brugge!

Check out photos at: http://picasaweb.google.com/arati.rahalkar/Brugge19thNov2006

Tourist friendliness

2006-11-23T12:42:00.000-08:00

Fate has been kind to me in some ways, it has given me a few chances to see places that perhaps not all get to see.. I have been to a few foreign countries, where I got to roam around alone. And I did - and though at the beginning I never used to be sure, the more I went out on my own, the more I realized that it really is easy to travel in foreign countries and cities - by these foreign countries I mean some big cities in US and now a few places in Europe.

And that got me thinking about what made the travel so easy..and so pleasant. These are a few points I think that make these cities "tourist friendly". I would love to see something like this happening in India.

1. Metros and buses have very good online sites that one can check out, and see the timings, maps, schedule and the ticket rates. Most of these cities have three modes of transport - Trams, Metros and Buses. All three put together, you have an excellent cheap means of travel.

2. Detailed maps of the city can be found on all the roads and at bus stops.
The sign boards, directions are very consistent and can be found all over the city - though I agree, unlike India, you don't always find a person whom you can ask for directions, but these good sign boards, maps kind of make up for it.

3. In every train and bus, the name of the next station / stop is displayed one stop prior to reaching it. Just make sure you sit facing that display.

4. I feel the best way to promote tourism is what these people do - have weekend tickets / culture tickets which are really cheaper as compared to the ordinary tickets. For example: The train ticket, return journey from Brussels to Brugge cost me a mere 7 Euro on Sunday instead of the normal 23 Euro ticket! One day passes, weekend passes - good thing to remember and ask for something like that if you are traveling on a weekend.

5. One of the other smart things these people have done is having Gift / Souvenir shops at the exit of the tourist spots. It is kind of made mandatory that you get out via one - so I guess at least half if not all of the tourists will end up buying something. A cool idea to make money, apart from promoting the tourist spot.

6. Photos - Yes, if you have traveled in US, you must have observed that at almost each big tourist spot, you will have a photographer taking photos at the entrance, whether you like it or not!. And then, when you are just about to leave the spot, you will see your photo staring back at you, in the form of a key chain or a post card - surely tempting you to buy one as a souvenir..

7. You have to give it to these people for the way they present and package the entire thing. Most of these places have nice guided tours, good information placards all around the place telling you about the history / significance of the place.

Facility of toilets at all the tourist spots, cleanliness, great roads - all these are bonuses on top of all this. Everything put together - traveling in developed cities in Europe and US is definitely a pleasure and an amazing experience in itself.

Brussels

2006-11-22T14:30:00.000-08:00

I roamed around Brussels city on 18th Nov, Saturday.. Caught the early 7:00 am bus from near my apartment to Gare Centrale Station, reaching there at around 8:00 am.. Started my day pretty early as I was not very sure about the distances and about finding my way around, but it turned out to be really easy.. with most of the places very close by and at a walking distance from each other.

Grand Place - the oldest sqaure of Brussels is very near from the Gare Centrale Station. Finding the routes is really simple with the maps along the roads and at the bus stops.. And with an occasional helpful pedestrian to tell you the way if the sign boards on the road seem a little confusing, I reached the grand Grand Place just in time.. when the place was just about coming alive, with all the small hotels and shops opening up for the morning. It took some time for the grandeur of all the tall buildings and the old architecture around Grand Place to sink in..

Once I had enough of it, I ventured on the task of finding the elusive, small little Manneken Pis.. Not that it is difficult to find really, but I was expecting to see something much bigger than the really really small statue of the kid...that too in a small obscure lane. If it wasn't for the sign boards and for the souvenir shops you start seeing as you come near to the place, it is very easy to miss the child.. Overall - Manneken Pis is a sure disappointment, especially after you have heard so much about it. It seems though this kid is real famous in Brussels, has a lot of stories around it and has a big wardrobe of around 600 costumes by now.

From the old part of Brussels, I went to the other end - Heysel station by Metro to take a look at the Atomium - which is an iron molecule magnified 165 times. It has 9 big spheres, and you can go to 4 of them by elevators or stairs and to the topmost one by a real high speed lift. The best part of the Atomium, of course, apart from its size and the sheer engineering effort is the beautiful view of Brussels you get to see from the top. The ticket is a total of 9 Euro, which I suppose is worth it.

Just next to the Atomium is Mini Europe, a fitting place for such a place to be, what with Brussels being the capital of European Union. Perhaps Mini Europe will be a much better place to visit in Summer or Spring, but, on that day, with the cold and dry weather, it wasn't a place I considered worthy of a 12 Euro ticket. The point is - you appreciate the miniature monuments from all around Europe, if you have seen the real ones or the pictures of the real ones. Otherwise, it is more like seeing a model of some building, which exists in some part of Europe. But yes - for a tourist like me, who is probably going to visit Brussels once in a lifetime, it was a must-see place and I paid my mandatory visit to it.

By the time all this got over, it was around 3 pm and I had already started feeling a little tired and suddenly jetlagged. I decided to call it a day, and returned to my apartment by the same route, happy and content with my first day out.

Check out more photos at: http://picasaweb.google.com/arati.rahalkar/Brussels18thNov2006

Encounter with Pakistanis in a foreign land

2006-11-22T13:17:00.000-08:00

I have been in Brussels for the past 5 or 6 days now.. As in most of the major foreign cities these days, Brussels has its share of Indians and Pakistanis too.. with Pakistanis pre-dominantly in the shop business, owning small shops that remain open till a long time in the night, unlike the other shops that close by 6.

After the first day struggle with finding a SIM card for my mobile, trying to find a person who understands English, it was really pleasant meeting a person who looked like an Indian, someone who could speak English as well as Hindi and who actually helped me find a good enough, relatively cheaper card for my mobile. I did not really mind it when I came to know that he is a Pakistani. He was sweet enough to talk to me at length, enquire about me and tell me to ask for help anytime I need it because he is like my "bada bhai"...

The other day I had been to Grand Place, Brussels and incidentally again found myself in need of buying batteries for my camera at the last moment (what with my rechargeable batteries ditching me when I needed them the most!).. To my rescue came another Pakistani, who when he came to know that I am an Indian, gave me a 50 cents off and a plastic bag for my umbrella without even asking for it..

So here I am, an Indian, with two pleasant experiences with Pakistanis.. It is funny how the age-old enmity between the two nations seems to not really matter once you are on foreign land. Out here, at a place which is not home for both of us, we become neighbours, people who both understand and speak Hindi.., people coming from countries which are so alike in more ways than one..

Automatically opening dustbin

2006-11-21T16:16:00.000-08:00

Came across an automatically opening dustbin in Brussels.. A very simple idea, but found it to be innovative and really convenient. You neither need to use your hand to open it up nor do you need to step on some lever.. All you have to do is place your palm over a sensor on the lid of the dustbin - it senses the hand movement and the lid opens up!

Clean, convenient, simple, innovative... Technology put to effective use for a very pratical reason!

Journey from airport to air-craft

2006-11-21T14:52:00.000-08:00

I have traveled quite a few times (if not too many times) by an airplane - but somehow always forget the exact steps one has to follow once inside the airport till actually boarding the plane.. This time I made sure I jotted down all the things I did and wrote it down here - for my own future reference!

1. Always keep ticket and passport handy, you get a nice passport bag in the market

2. Stand in line for the check-in bag to be screened. Make sure you don't keep an alarm clock somewhere deep inside your bag with batteries inside it! (I had to open up my bag at the airport just because the lady realized that the batteries are left inside :-( All the effort in packing up the bag neatly gone waste)

3. After screening, the bag is normally strapped.

4. Stand in the line at the respective airline counter for the bag to be checked in.

5. Once at the counter, you will get name tags for all the bags - the bags to be checked in as well as your hand luggage. Put them on the bags with your name and address.

6. Show the ticket and your passport to the lady at the airline counter. She will give you an immigration form and a boarding pass. After this step, you will need only the passport and the boarding pass. You can keep the ticket inside safely.

7. Fill the immigration form (it is very simple to fill with name, address details) and stand in line for the immigration check. Normally this will be a nominal check, nothing serious or time consuming unless there is a big line at the immigration counter.

8. Now proceed to the gate number specified on the boarding pass for the security check. Wait till the security check for your aircraft is announced and has begun. Till that time, you can try to kill the time - though there is not much of an option there. This is the place where you can charge your mobile phones if needed. After this point, there is no way of doing that.

9. During the security check, your hand luggage will be screened. There are different lines for ladies and gents.

10. If everything is ok, the name tags on your hand luggage will be stamped. This means you are free to proceed.

11. Wait for the boarding to begin. Boarding is normally done in the following order, so you need to wait for your turn to come:
a. First class and Business class passengers
b. Passengers with infants
c. Economy class passengers called row-wise

Once inside the aircraft, find your seat, dump your hand luggage into the overhead cabin and start counting the time before the plane takes off! And yes - send as many messages you like till the time they finally ask you to switch off the mobiles :-)

Footprints on the sands of time...

2006-11-21T12:49:00.000-08:00

One of my favourite poems, and one of the very few I had learnt by heart with very little effort.. What better way to start off my blog than with this poem!

A PSALM OF LIFE

TELL me not, in mournful numbers,
Life is but an empty dream ! —
For the soul is dead that slumbers,
And things are not what they seem.

Life is real ! Life is earnest!
And the grave is not its goal ;
Dust thou art, to dust returnest,
Was not spoken of the soul.

Not enjoyment, and not sorrow,
Is our destined end or way ;
But to act, that each to-morrow
Find us farther than to-day.

Art is long, and Time is fleeting,
And our hearts, though stout and brave,
Still, like muffled drums, are beating
Funeral marches to the grave.

In the world's broad field of battle,
In the bivouac of Life,
Be not like dumb, driven cattle !
Be a hero in the strife !

Trust no Future, howe'er pleasant !
Let the dead Past bury its dead !
Act,— act in the living Present !
Heart within, and God o'erhead !

Lives of great men all remind us
We can make our lives sublime,
And, departing, leave behind us
Footprints on the sands of time ;

Footprints, that perhaps another,
Sailing o'er life's solemn main,
A forlorn and shipwrecked brother,
Seeing, shall take heart again.

Let us, then, be up and doing,
With a heart for any fate ;
Still achieving, still pursuing,
Learn to labor and to wait.